Okay, so full disclosure: I don’t have school aged kids yet. But when I do? You know I’ll be the mom ugly crying in the parking lot while simultaneously Googling “can I call the school just to check if my kid is okay?”
Even without a kindergartner in the mix yet, I’m a high functioning anxiety, helicopterish mom, so I totally get the stomach knots that come with letting your baby go! Whether it’s daycare, preschool, grandma’s house, or the first time you leave them at a birthday party without you.
Over time, I’ve picked up a few things that help me chill out after I drop my kid off anywhere… and I know they’ll come in clutch when that first school day hits.
1. I Talk to Myself (In a Nice Way)
I’ve learned that what I say to myself in those moments really matters. When my brain starts doing the “what if” spiral, I pull it back with a little mantra:
“Change is hard, but we can do hard things.”
It’s like telling both me and my kid, “Hey, we’ve got this.” Even if they can’t hear me, it still helps.
Source: Clover School
2. I Breathe Like I Mean It
I know, I know, “just breathe” is the most cliché advice ever. But the 4-7-8 method actually works for me:
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Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds
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Hold for 7
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Exhale through your mouth for 8
After a few rounds, I go from tight chested and buzzy to at least slightly less feral.
Source: Where is Santa?
3. I Fake Confidence Until I Feel It
Sometimes I have to pull the ol’ “act like you’ve been here before” trick. My go to line?
“I am strong and capable.”
I’ll say it in the car, at my desk, or while making my coffee. It feels cheesy at first, but the more I say it, the more my brain starts to believe it.
Source: Wee Meditate
4. I Give Myself a “Treat”
The worst thing for me is going straight home to silence, it makes me miss my kid even more. So I plan something right after drop off: coffee, a Target run, a walk with a podcast… something to distract me and help me reset.
It’s like a little reward for both surviving and not texting the teacher to “just check in.”
Source: Where is Santa?
5. I Call Out My Feelings (Literally)
This one feels silly but works: I just say what I’m feeling out loud.
“Okay… I’m nervous. That’s fine. I’m gonna breathe and trust they’re okay.”
Somehow, putting it into words makes it less overwhelming. And hey if our kids see us naming our emotions, they learn it’s okay to do the same.
Source: Parents.com
The Bottom Line
Whether it’s their first day of school or just a new babysitter, letting go is hard. It doesn’t matter if you’re a first-time mom, a seasoned pro, or (like me) still a couple of years away from that school drop off milestone, these little habits make a big difference.
So if you see me on that first day in the parking lot one day, clutching my coffee and muttering mantras to myself… just know I’m fine. Really. Totally fine.
