Neha Ruch
The stereotype of the stay-at-home mom is finally getting a rebrand thanks to Neha Ruch. A mom of two, Neha leapt onto the national stage with her bestseller, The Power Pause, a primer for ambitious mothers leaning into family life.
This success, she says, didn’t happen overnight; she planted seeds over a decade ago through her online community “Mother Untitled.” Neha’s work offers stay-at-home moms the dignity they deserve through some simple truths: raising children is a full-time job and it requires support and respect.
On her episode of Momcast, the engaging podcast powered by The Local Moms Network, she told host Demetra Ganias about everything from navigating a resignation while keeping communication open, how to explain a pause, and more. Below, read an excerpt, and for the full conversation, download Momcast.
How did you get here, rebranding stay-at-home motherhood and coining the “Power Pause” movement?
I spent about a decade in brand marketing, and then I went to business school at Stanford. I ended up running branding at a tech company. And then I had my first son. I was probably three months into it, rocking on the glider thinking, I finally don’t have to try so hard to fit in. I don’t have to climb. This kid just wants me to be exactly who I am. And that felt quite freeing. And I think in that moment, I just wanted to push back as an ambitious woman who had been up until that point following a linear path, who wanted to take my foot off the gas.
How did you respond to anyone who questioned your decision to leave Stanford Business School?
A lot of people said, aren’t you going to be bored all day? Or do you feel like you’re giving up? So, it comes from a place of curiosity, right? But I was really sitting with this mismatch between what I was hearing and the inner confidence I was feeling [as a new mom]. And meanwhile, I was also meeting a number of women in my neighborhood at baby classes and playgrounds who were making similar pauses and shifts—and none of them matched the outdated stereotype.
The term “stay-at-home-mom” is certainly flawed—it implies stagnancy..
Right. You know, we commissioned a survey called the American Mothers on Pause survey of a thousand members of the general population and 1,200 at-home mothers. When we asked the general population, what do you think of when you think of as a stay-at-home mother, the most popular response was June Cleaver. But if you ask them to think of a working mother, they will say Michelle Obama, Cheryl Sandberg, and Beyonce. One is fact. One is fiction. One is current. One is antiquated.
There’s also the phrase “must be nice”. It must be nice to say home all day and not do anything. Must be nice that your husband works and you just get to hang out and drink coffee and have lunch. And because hurt people, hurt people, I would hurl it back and say, well, it must be nice to get dressed and leave the house and have someone else take care of your kids. And I think that language needs to be eradicated. I’m ashamed that I said it and I’m infuriated that I didn’t have a better answer when I heard it…
That rhetoric, that it’s a luxury [to stay home] has made women feel like what they’re doing is of lesser value and doesn’t warrant support. The reality, going back to the data, is one in three women pause their careers because of the cost of childcare. They feel forced. Sixty percent cite financial considerations. And that’s not to say working out of the home is a luxury or existing in between. It’s to say the privilege is to get to choose, on all sides.
What is the first step of the “power pause”?
So, it starts when you resign. There’s sort of small strategic steps you can take, whether it’s literally networking on your way out and you’re having coffee with your boss, and you’re having coffee with any other mentor, so you have that bridge back.
And once you’re in stay-at-home motherhood, how do you stay connected?
Maybe it’s volunteering to strategically explore what comes next. Maybe it’s signing onto LinkedIn an hour a week to be able to engage with old contacts and stay abreast on industry updates. Or maybe it’s every quarter ,you’re going to try something new. And for me, I had always wanted to write. So, it’s going to be three blog posts a week that I can do during naps and nighttime.
For more of this insightful interview, listen to Neha Ruch’s episode of Momcast!
